Here I Am
by Yami's Tenshi
Summary: Contemplating his life, Yami discovers he must choose what he wants to be and discovers Yugi's true impact. song-fic


Here I Am  
  
Rating: PG (nothing too bad)  
  
Genre: angst (I think)  
  
Tenshi: Well hi everybody. I just decided to do this one real quick. Truthfully, I used it as an excuse not to do my math homework, but I think this still turned out good. Anyway, I don't expect much about this fanfic. It's sort of just a one-time thing. However, if you like the way I write or you think I should try someone's p.o.v, then please tell me! Also, just as a slight note, this fanfic is sort of dedicated to my friend Lily-chan. She's a really great authoress and person in general. Her work is the inspiration for my Yami and Yugi scenes. Anyway, I'll just get right to the disclaimer.  
  
Disclaimer: Yami's Tenshi does not own Yugioh! or any of its characters. She also does not own the song 'I'm Still Here'. That is sung by John Reznick and the song's copyrights has nothing to do with Yami's Tenshi whatsoever. Also, as a side note, the title 'Here I Am' is based of the Bryan Adams song, which she doesn't own either. She does, however, own the plot. So please do not sue. Thank you.  
  
Warning: I was going to dedicate this to Lily-chan, but then I thought the better of it. So, anyway, some of these parts can be taken as shonen-ai. I was think along the borderline of shonen-ai and brotherly love. You, the reader, are free to read it any way you choose. So please do not flame me saying "Why didn't you make this shonen-ai?!" or "Why isn't this just brotherly love?!". I leave it to your own interpretations.  
  
Tenshi: So, please read and enjoy folks! ^^  
  
Here I Am- songific of: I'm Still Here  
  
In the darkest section of a young boy's mind, an ancient spirit was once more contemplating his life. The spirit, Yami, felt despair filled him. It seemed as though people could never understand him. Either they looked upon him with fear or awe. Their minds automatically tried to pin him down, to place him in one category, but they couldn't. Yet, when things went bad, they turned to him. He was their silent guardian, defender and champion. Always triumphing over evil, they revered him as their hero but shied away from him. Unable to understand him, they both cherished him, but none dared to get close to him. Some of them proclaimed that they loved him, particularly the brown haired girl who dreamed of wanting to be a dancer, but he knew it not to be true. As long as he remained incomprehensible to their minds, none could truly open their hearts to him. He would never know the sweet feeling of true love. There would never be someone to love him, as a lover or a brother, and it made him quite bitter. Some, raising up their watery nerves, scolded him that if he wanted someone to truly care about him, he should change his ways. He was either too harsh, too cold, too cruel, or too evil for any to think of him with anything but mortal terror and heroic worship. But he closed his ears and his heart to their cruel words. They knew nothing about him and they would never know a thing about him. Yami absolutely refused to become what they all thought of him as.  
  
*I am a question to the world  
  
Not an answer to be heard  
  
Or a moment  
  
That's held in your arms  
  
And what do you think you'd ever say  
  
I don't listen anyway  
  
You don't know me  
  
Cause I'll never be what you want me to be*  
  
After all, what did those people think they understood? The people of today closed their minds at the slightest chance that they wouldn't be able to understand. But, couldn't they see anything? It seemed their eyes were closed tight. He was no boy, a mere child, that was to be disciplined and taught to their rules, their standards, and their ways. Some, out of sheer stubbornness, still sought to control him, to make him bend to their ideals. Yet, many had already given up on him. Realizing that they could not pin down this immortal creature, they sighed and tossed the majestic spirit to the side. Sneering, they walked away claiming that he had never shown them love, despite all he had done to save them, and it was his own damnation calling him. That was what he didn't understand. All of his life, no one had ever given him a bit of love, to hold on to and cherish as his own. He wasn't too sure what love was, other than the fact that he was lacking it, and there was no way he could learn how to show it either. Now, he just didn't care. Let her stand there on the sidewalk by herself, she didn't know him. And now he knew why. Yami didn't exist to them.  
  
*And what do you think you'd understand?  
  
I'm a boy no I'm a man  
  
You can take me  
  
And throw me away  
  
And how can you learn what's never shown?  
  
Yeah, you stand here all alone  
  
They don't know me  
  
Cause I'm not here*  
  
Sighing, Yami studied his ghostly hand. There was something else he wanted. He wanted to be real. He wanted to touch things and feel them beneath his fingertips. But he couldn't. His body was dead and no matter how many times Yami ran his fingers along the edge of the puzzle, he wouldn't feel it. At first it was terrifying and now Yami wanted to grab onto something and hang on with all his might. Maybe if he actually felt something, then maybe the people out there would accept him. He wanted to belong somewhere, more than anything. His heart needed a home. Everyone said, said sadly or mockingly, that he just never changed. He never grew older, his habits all stayed the same, he was just Yami. The one that, no matter what they did, always remained above their heads. But he thought that was wrong. It was they who stayed the same. Always having the same blind spot, always accepting the lies instead of the truth- they were becoming predictable. What should it matter to him what they thought? They couldn't seem. Because he simply wasn't there.  
  
*And I want a moment to be real  
  
Want to touch things I don't feel  
  
Wanna hold on  
  
And feel I belong  
  
And how can they say I never change  
  
They're the ones that stay the same  
  
They can't see me  
  
Cause I'm not here*  
  
But then, there was Him- Yugi. Oh, if he had ever loved anything in his life, it was that boy. The boy was truly an innocent and Yami was quite sure that he was in the presence of a tenshi- an angel. Somehow those violet eyes were able to pierce through the outer layer and see the real Yami inside. Only around his hikari was the yami gentle, kind, and compassionate. Everything the others tried so hard to draw out, the boy need only ask and his yami was there. Everything Yugi wanted, Yami was. The boy needed a protector, his other half, a friend, and a brother. The wearied spirit was more than happy to fill in the roles. Slowly, Yugi grew to know Yami's heart and for once Yami wasn't scared that it would break. He had been freed in more than one way when Yugi had solved the puzzle. His spirit could now roam where it would, but his heart had no such liberty. Yami had given it entirely to Yugi and the boy had cherished it above all else. Bit by bit Yugi was helping his friend reclaim that who he was. It was Yugi that helped Yami realize what he was. But he was nothing without his hikari. Now, with Yugi by his side he knew that he was unstoppable. Those people couldn't break him. As long as he had Yugi, he knew who he was. And that was the important thing.  
  
*And you  
  
See the things they never see  
  
All you wanted I can be  
  
Now you know and I'm not afraid  
  
But I want to tell you who I am  
  
Can you help me be a man?  
  
They can't break me  
  
As long as I know who I am*  
  
Yami now wanted to touch new things and feel them beneath his fingertips. He wanted to remember what it was like to comfort somebody, to hold them while they cried, to give them a hand up. And he could. Yami now held tightly Yugi, making sure that the boy always felt protected. Yam may not be able to touch anything else, but he could help Yugi. And that was what mattered. Yami grabbed onto Yugi, hung on and wanted to never let go. Yugi was his one key to life. He couldn't lose that. Now that he could actually felt something, he had somewhere to belong. His heart had a home. Everyone just stayed their old same selfs. But not him. Nor his hikari for that matter. They move in fluid motion, ever changing. They were with each other, two halves finally becoming one. What should it matter to him what they thought? They couldn't see them. Because they were beyond and above.  
  
**And I want a moment to be real  
  
Want to touch things I don't feel  
  
Wanna hold on  
  
And feel I belong  
  
And how can they say I never change  
  
They're the ones that stay the same  
  
They can't see me  
  
But I'm still here*  
  
Yami realized it now. None could control his destiny, his personality, or anything about him. The spirit wasn't the cold-hearted pharaoh everyone was so used to seeing. He was so much more. While the world held its eyes tight and clung to "truth" his eyes were just opening and he was falling through life. The world could just keep whispering and cradling their lies, he wouldn't listen to anymore. Yami was a complete soul now. His heart ached no more.  
  
*They can't tell me who to be  
  
Cause I'm not what they see  
  
Ya, the world is still sleepin'  
  
While I keep on dreamin' for me  
  
And they'll just want to just whisper some lies that I'll never believe*  
  
/Yami?/  
  
Startled, Yami glanced up to see the door to his soul room open and a meek Yugi peeking out from behind the door. Just the sight of his light made Yami put a smile on his face.  
  
Seeing his protector's smile, Yugi walked to middle of the room and stood before the noble pharaoh.  
  
/Is everything alright, Yami?/  
  
Yami was taken back by the amount of worry in his hikari's eyes. He still wasn't used to someone else caring so much about him. Remembering his former thoughts, Yami walked up to his hikari and, wrapping his arms around the boy's thin frame, gave a gentle hug.  
  
*I want a moment to be real  
  
Want to touch things I don't feel  
  
Wanna hold on  
  
And feel I belong  
  
And how can they say I never change  
  
They're the ones that stay the same  
  
I'm the one now  
  
Cause I'm still here*  
  
//Yes hikari. Everything is alright now.//  
  
*Ya, I'm the one  
  
Cause I'm still here  
  
Ya, I'm still here  
  
I'm still here...*  
  
Fin.*  
  
Tenshi: Like I said, I just did this one for fun. Reviews are greatly appreciated! Flamers ARE welcome! Until next time, C'ya! ^_^ 


End file.
